The Queen.

2011-12-25T21:47:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS YEOREUBEUN!!

Painted my nails purple gradient with blings for Christmas!!

Christmas party with family at my godparents' house. Kan papa baked these two log cakes himself! :3 The choco alcoholic cake was yums!

Log cake and Christmas party at Vernon's. His house is so pretty!! There are 3 levels but there are like intermediate levels. So it's like level 0.5, level 1, level 1.5... etc. And the kitchen is at level 2 LOL -.-''

Party at Kan mummy's house with lots of tempura!!

And... not related to Christmas but... HEH. I'm so attracted to HOYA!!

Hoya~

Onew oppa, you're still my favourite!! Love you hubby!! :D I'm so excited for SHINee's korean comeback next year!! Take care of yourself and don't overwork okay, darling? Saranghae!

2011-12-11T21:47:00.001+08:00

SHINee photos~

Onew, Taemin and Key in their Barcelona photobook.

Onew during Idol Championships. It's an idol sports competition. I wish Onew wouldn't participate in it though, cause his Onew sangtae always acts up and my darling ends up falling down.

2min!! Minho and Taemin love.

Dubu ya~ why you hiding under big umbrella?

Taemin's cute pout! :3

Taemin pouting again with his mouth full of water. Cute!

SHINee makes me fall in love with KPOP. Love you boys so much!

Love this photo of blonde Taemin!! I miss SHINee World Concert so so much. I had SWC withdrawal symptoms after the concert!

Lastly, Saengilchukahamnida my wangja Choi Minho!! Sarangheyooooo ~

2011-12-07T22:20:00.001+08:00

SHINee interview in Taiwan. My SHINee oppas are so cuteeeeee. Onew sangtae and OnKey lovebirds and JongTae moments. Their brotherly love for one another is so sweet (: Love love!

2011-12-06T22:20:00.000+08:00

What is the toughest job in the world? I would say life. Because living is the toughest job in the world.

2011-12-03T23:19:00.000+08:00

Things are not going well for me recently. Everything seems to be at a dead end. No exit. Like trapped inside a vast space and I'm just wandering around aimlessly in hope of finding light. And the boundaries are far into the horizon. Never ending. I'm so... lost? Yeah. I guess that's it. Lost.

I don't know what I want any more. I wanted to teach. So I became a tutor. But I also wanted to travel the world. I wanted to be a korean-celeb make-up artist. I wanted to live in Taiwan and Korea. And I'm still stuck in Singapore, studying and working, wasting my youth for a piece of crap certificate. What have I done to myself?

I've been thinking a lot lately, and I wonder... Is there a problem with me? I seem to be on bad terms with everyone. Or maybe this year is indeed a bad year for me. I'm so jinxed this year. Really.

Let's start with my relatives. I have always been on good terms with my cousins and aunts and uncles. We meet for dinner every Sat at my grandma's place. We'd chat and hang out. I felt so comfortable and happy just spending time with them. But something major happened and I mentioned it before. It had to do with me wanting to move out and my relatives telling on me to my parents. And then, I stopped talking to them. Everyone. Because I hate it when people betray me. It gave me so much stress because there was no one I could talk to. I fell out with my parents, so I couldn't talk to them. My relatives betrayed me, so I couldn't talk to them either. And my friends... I couldn't find someone close enough to talk to. I never felt more alone. I can't bring myself to forgive my relatives who told on me. We're still not talking now and I feel awkward around them.

Besides my relatives, I fell out with my grandma, my parents and my sis too.

My grandma. I've always been close to her. She brought me up and I love her more than I love my parents. But somehow, we grew apart. I don't know why, I really don't. I know she is old and her time is limited, so I try to visit her as often as I can, bring her out to eat, spend time talking to her, listen to her grouses... Until recently. She doesn't want to go out with me anymore. I would call and ask if she wants to go out for lunch together, but she would tell me she wants to watch tv, she has housework to do, she is tired... etc. All excuses. So, I gave up. I stopped asking her out. I stopped calling. And she never called me back too. This makes me really sad. What happened?

My parents. I was never close to my parents. They didn't bring me up, never knew what I liked or disliked, and frequently used money to threaten me. My mum would always tell her friends and colleagues and relatives that I treated her like an ATM and a chauffeur (when I was in JC and couldn't work). So I swore never to ask her for money. Ever.

Lastly, my sis. My best friend. My closest family. She knew me best. My habits. What I liked and disliked. I could tell her almost everything. What I thought about our parents. School. My tuition kids. Everything. We used to eat at eighteen chefs and ikea. We used to treat each other for lunch. We used to just hang around the playground near our house to chat. But we haven't talked in months. Maybe half a year? I don't know. Maybe we'll end up like Gifford and his sister. They haven't talked in ten over years because of a fight when they were young. Maybe.. it's better for us not to talk anyway.

I wish I were born without anyone. So I wouldn't feel the loss now.

2011-12-01T01:50:00.000+08:00

SHINee at after-party, celebrating after their Osaka concert!!

Onkey couple!!

Taemin shaves his underarms!! Hehehe :P

Taemin and his static hair! Omo.

Key and his Bumble Bee! SHINee is currently endorsing Etude House with Sandara of 2NE1!

Oppa ya~ what is so funny? :D

My current wallpaper!!

Onew oppa, saranghamnida*hugs*

Maknae ya~ why your hair so wetttt??

Oppa, you want to kiss me? *popo~* kekeke.

I AM A SHINEE GIRL~ :D

2011-11-22T18:56:00.000+08:00

You know how there's a saying that goes something along the lines of "Chatty people are not any less depressed than quiet people. They are just better at hiding their feelings."

Sayings don't just appear out of nowhere. There's a certain truth in it. Chatty people are just better actors, better at cheering people up, better at creating a happy atmosphere. No one can be perfectly happy and contented all the time. Chatty people have their ups and downs too. And like everyone else, chatty people have feelings and get sensitive when people say nasty things.

So here goes.

Just because I can take jokes doesn't mean you can say nasty stuff in my face. Just because I am the kind of girl who doesn't behave femininely doesn't mean I don't have my sensitive side. Just because you don't mean it doesn't mean I won't mind it.

People who are truly sensitive will not show their sensitive side, because they are afraid people will judge them. They keep their feelings to themselves, bottled, sealed, buried. They appear strong in front of everyone else but when night falls and they are alone, the tears fall. And because no one knows, everyone thinks these people are the happiest.

How wrong they are.

2011-11-22T01:35:00.000+08:00

SHINee. MY WORLD.

I'm so in love with SHINee!! I want to marry Onew, be best friends with Key, and take care of Taemin!! Oppa ~ come to Singapore and marry me please? :D

2011-10-26T23:22:00.000+08:00

A photo of Onew!! :D SHINee just finished their NYC concert, preparing for SWC JAPAN next!! I wish they would have a korean comeback soon!!

Today is Deepavali. Went to Marina Square with my family for lunch. My dad was telling me to keep a lookout for him on Stomp and Facebook lol. Cause he just came back from a Malaysia fishing trip and on the way there (in a plane), he sat at somewhere else other than his designated seat cause there was more space. And one old man not happy so he told my dad that he was going to take a photo of him and put on the internet. And my dad said okay, go ahead lol -.-''

Went shopping today!! Spending my hard earned money is a stress reliever. Retail therapy always works for me!!! Bought clothes at Forever 21. Almost my entire wardrobe is F21 already ^.^ yipeee!! Bought my makeup stuff too!! And a pair of Nike shoes, in hot pink!! I had Starbucks white choc mocha frapp, awesome day today!! :D

*SNAP* come back to reality. 11.30pm and still studying economics fml. KILL ME PLEASE. Spent my entire day on lunch and shopping so now at night must study. ): This is life. SIGH.

2011-10-23T13:28:00.000+08:00

i've been so caught up with school and work that i haven't had time to myself at all! ): i seldom have time to watch my shinee boys or facebook anymore. my free time is usually spent on sleeping or studying because i have so much work to do and im in serious sleep debt. :/ i want to go out! haven't been shopping for a month. earn money for what, can't even spend on shopping. and i want to go to east coast park again! last sunday was a real stress reliever. went to east coast for lunch and cycling with my friends. enjoyed the breeze and children's laughter from everywhere! and before going to the beach, i went to lingyi's condo to suntan by the pool. i love the sun! (: i was red like a cooked lobster and i'm still peeling now! i think i will go back to being white after my tanned skin peels off -.-'' so much for wanting to look golden. then after cycling, met my family at east coast korean bbq restaurant for dinner. the food was jjang!! kimchi pancake, bbq samgyupsal, bbq beef, kimchi seafood soup! :3 i miss korean food!

2011-10-11T23:33:00.000+08:00

SHINee Girls!! :D

I've been hanging out with this bunch of girls and they're really fun to be with cause they love SHINee as much as I do! Met up for dinner, movie and drinks on different days. Meeting them this sunday for cycling and korean bbq too! Excited!!

2011-10-06T14:50:00.000+08:00

An incident this morning made me very angry.

I was on the way to the bus stop. It was about 7am. I was walking on the pathway, which was wide enough for two people. From behind me, I heard the ringing of bicycle bells which tells me that the bicycle was approaching me fast. It sounded more like "SCRAM BITCH!!!! GET OUT OF MY WAY!!" instead of "Excuse me". I was already pissed from the incessent ringing of bells early in the morning and it HAD to sound this fucking rude.

Just as you had guessed, I did not give way.

Why should I? I was on the walkway, I was on the right of path. Bicycles do NOT belong to the walkway. They belong to the side of the road. It is a transportation device, a manual vehicle. It belongs to the god damned road, not the walkway.

The bicycle screeched to a stop slightly behind me and squeezed its way to get past me. I had wanted to ignore it and mind my own business but the qiah char bor had to turn around, look me in the eye and scream "EXCUSE ME" in my face.

SAY WHAT?!?!

She is in the wrong and she had the audacity to scream at me? Since when do I allow myself to be screamed at?

She rode off, with me screaming after her. She had a kid on the rear seat, primary school level. I screamed "Naohia, I hope you crash!" but I felt bad afterward cause she had a kid and I didn't really want the kid to get hurt. I just want his fat ass of a mother to fall off and get a bloody big bruise on her cellulite-filled ass. But then.... she had to turn around and scream somemore at me (it was gibberish, couldn't make out what she said).

So now, I don't feel bad at all. I really hope she crashed. That's karma for you bitch!!!

2011-09-28T14:05:00.000+08:00

Staying home today to revise lecture notes. Lying on my tummy on my bed with lecture notes in front of me. Wish I didn't have to study! I don't understand why humans have to make things so complicated. If humans remained as cavemen and cavewomen, all we'd have to do would be hunt, eat, sleep. Why study, why invent, why research? We're all going to die anyway. Just living a simple and comfortable life would be good enough. :/ I really dread studying.

2011-09-27T21:43:00.000+08:00

Hanging out with Lingyi again!

School started last thursday. So far school has been manageable. Actually I kind of like my current timetable. I have lectures mostly in the afternoon so I can sleep in. Last time I used to have to wake up at 5am to get ready. And then on weekends I'm working. But the bad thing is my only free day falls on wednesdays and I have to spend my free day revising my lecture notes. Which means.. I can only hang out with friends on friday and saturday nights. I used to hang out whenever I feel like it (for the past four months at least) and then now it's just two nights. Plus working the next day. :/ Sigh, not easy juggling between work, school and friends.

2011-09-08T21:42:00.000+08:00

My thoughts are so jumbled up in my head. So many worries, it's frustrating. The tiniest things linger in my head and I get irritated cause I know it's insignificant and yet it wouldn't leave my mind. I guess I'm more irritated with myself than with the things that are bothering me.

Results for Year 1 are out. I didn't do too well. I'm quite disappointed with my econs and contract law results. I thought I would have managed a B- at least, cause I studied really hard for them. But I got a C for both. And... I broke my own record. From primary school all the way to university I never got zero before. I got zero for statistics. 0/100. Seriously, no joke. For the first time in an exam, I practically flipped through the entire question paper without knowing how to do a single question. I looked at the first question, don't know how to do, skip, second question, don't know also, skip, next, omg what is this?, skip, next, never see before, skip... and before I know it, it's the last question. I still don't know how to do. I submitted the empty script one hour into the exam when the paper is three hours long. I gave up because I'd rather spend the next two hours studying for the next papers than sitting in the exam hall with a blank mind. I knew I'd fail, but not to this extent. ZERO. Really.

So recently I got back my results. Which means I have to choose my modules for next year. For SIM, we have to log into the portal to select the modules on a first come first serve basis. The portal opens selections at 10am. I logged in at 9.30am. At 9.50am, I kept refreshing the page to check if I can select already. At 10am, the portal was loading very slowly and kept logging me out due to high traffic. I logged in and got logged out again. This repeated for 2 hours. By 12pm, I was very annoyed. Maybe annoyed isn't strong enough to describe how I felt. I was more like, Nabei laoniang set alarm to wake up earlier just to do this fucking selection to choose good lecturers, now you log laoniang out for 2 hours, all the good lecturers and good timeslots gone, still tell me my account got problem go eat shit la!!!!! I called SIM student helpdesk 20 fucking times, all I got was the answering machine. I was so close to crying I swear. The problem still isn't resolved and I still haven't chosen my modules. It's really stressing me out.

Getting on to Year 2 is another problem. I'm in UOL Math and Econs. This is one of the hardest courses in SIM. I didn't know that before I chose this course. I was like, oh there's maths, okay I'll take this course. And then everyone around me is saying this course is so difficult blah blah blah. I'm getting scared. I worry that I'll retain in Year 2 or 3. I worry that I won't be able to make friends. I worry that I won't put in effort or have the determination to study hard. I worry that people will look down on me and say that I'm stupid, I'm arrogant, serve me right for choosing one of the hardest courses. I worry that I won't be the first graduate in my family. I worry that I let people down. I'm not so concerned with disappointing myself cause I know I'll get over it. I can't let my grandma down. She's been wanting to see me do well in uni and graduate. There's just so much to worry.

Usually I'm quite optimistic but recently, so many things have been bothering me and I feel so helpless. Grades is one issue, work is another issue. After I graduate, then what? Work? I don't want to work for the next forty years just to feed myself. Where's the satisfaction I want in life? Where's the fulfilling job I promised myself? I'm working as a tutor now, would I want to teach for the next forty years? It's scary. I'm scared for my future. What if I'm 30 and jobless? How do I create a niche for myself? I don't know, I'm just a young adult. I wish life were shorter. Study for 20 years, work for 10 years, enjoy for 10 years, die at 40 years old. Seems logical to me.

Last issue. Yesterday, I was in the living room watching television and munching on snacks. I saw my maid go upstairs. A few moments later, my sister and mum came back home. Then they called for the maid. My maid came out from the kitchen. Then I asked her if she went upstairs a few moments ago, she said she had been in the kitchen the whole time. I swear I saw her go up. I swear, I freaking swear. I hope the "gift" is not coming back again. It's been 3 years since I last saw.

On a happier note, SHINee concert is in two days' time!! Really excited for it. This is the first time I'm bursting with love for an idol group. I used to like taiwan boybands and kpop groups when SNSD first became popular but they're incomparable to SHINee. I really really love them. I smile when I listen to their songs, I'm addicted to watching them on Youtube, I love every member, I am filled with so much adoration for them. Oppas, saranghae!!!!

2011-09-06T20:18:00.000+08:00

IPPUDO X TAO

Went for dinner at Ippudo with my family, happened to meet Qianyi who was working there! And she gave us free ice cream plus discount :D

The eggs which have rave reviews online. It's hard on the outside but soft and runny on the inside. Delectable!

Some meats to start off. The pork ribs were awesome! My favourite was the bacon with golden mushroom. Super juicy!

Some alcohol to go with the meats. Mine is only the draft beer. The other two beers and the sake are my dad's. Nowonder he has a beer belly. :/

The sushi is so special! Instead of using rice, the chef used ramen noodles. Yummy!

My favourite dish, beef with mashed potatoes! So tender and juicy. I want to go back and eat it again!

Complimentary green tea ice cream from my friend! :D

It was a really nice dinner, I loved everything we ordered! I want to eat there again! Who wants? (:

2011-09-02T16:59:00.000+08:00

8 Things People Do That Piss Me Off

1. Last minute changes

Whether it is a last minute meet up or a last minute cancellation, I get pissed off real bad. I like things in order, I like things to flow smoothly, I like my schedules to be planned, organised and executed according to what was arranged. It is called a SCHEDULE for a reason. Don't give me stupid excuses for last minute changes to your plans which affect my plans cause what you'll get is a bitch yelling at you in your fucked up face.

2. Embarrass me

I don't care what you do, what you say or what you think. You keep your embarrassing actions and speech for us when we're alone. I can't stand people who talk excessively loud in crowded places with exaggerated hand and leg movements trying to let the whole world know what we're talking about. Geez. Keep our conversation to ourselves dammit.

3. Excessive cussing in public

Now this is something quite intolerable. I cuss too, but I don't recite all the cuss words like I regurgitated them from a cuss dictionary. Stop saying those cuss words like a mantra. It won't make things better anyway. I can't stand people who can go on and on about an issue and keep swearing for the next half an hour.

4. People in my way

I have patience for all things except when I'm in a rush and the last thing I need is to be stuck in a human jam with people taking their own sweet time to walk and chit chat. Move it bitch, or I'm going to shove my elbow in your neh neh and you'll end up with uneven boobies. Another type of human road blocks is people who stand in the middle of nowhere digging into their bag or talking into the phone or staring into space. Like hello? You're not made of air, you don't expect me to walk through you, do you?

5. People who are addicted to their devices

It is very rude, and I mean really rude, when you go out with people and they are so engrossed in their phones. Facebook, Twitter, iPhone games etc. If you want to play with your whatever games, then stay home and play! It just shows how much you want to stare into your phone and how much you want to talk to me.

6. Staring incidents

Staring can get you into a whole lot of trouble. You can look, but don't glare or stare. And don't point. If you were caught staring, just smile and look away. I feel uncomfortable to the point of being riled up if people stare at me cause of my tattooes. It is just plain rude.

7. Standing too close

In crowded trains and buses, it is unavoidable to be standing close to strangers, especially during the rush hours in the morning and evening. I am someone who feels uncomfortable standing close to people. I just don't like it when someone is less than an arm's length away from me. It makes me feel vulnerable, like if I were suddenly attacked, I wouldn't have enough time to defend myself cause the attacker is standing so close. It is probably paranoia on my part but I just don't like it and it pisses me off when people stand too close.

8. Touching your feet

I don't know about you but for me, the dirtiest part of my body (or anyone's body for that matter) is my feet. I can't stand people touching their feet and then go on to touch their handphones or wallet or worse, food. You use your feet to walk. You step every where. You wear shoes and heels and slippers, but those are kept outside the house for a reason and that's cause those are dirty. You put your feet into dirty footwear, then you use your hands to touch your filthy feet and then touch your phone and put the phone to your face? Now tell me how clean your face is apart from the ground.

2011-08-30T20:51:00.000+08:00

2011-08-30T20:40:00.000+08:00

2011-08-30T17:58:00.002+08:00

my dad is so cute. he found two snails in our garden and the snails will eat our plants so he decided to put them somewhere else. he wanted to put them in his car, drive out to somewhere with grass and put them there. but he forgot about the snails and drove to work instead. and then after work, he realized that the snails had been in his car the whole day. -.-'' then he said, " jasmine, i got two escargots in my car, you want to eat ? "

2011-08-20T23:14:00.000+08:00

I made a new friend! (:

Lingyi is my colleague and we work under the same tuition centre but at different branches so we hardly get to meet. We made time to meet up for lunch at Downtown East. Sat there drinking hot chocolate, eating ice cream and ended up gossiping for 2 hours! This girl can bitch. Seriously. Not exactly a bad thing though!

2011-08-19T19:21:00.000+08:00

Went out with grandma again! Had milk pudding, kimchi pancake, fried chicken and almond ice shaving for tea break. Yummy!

2011-08-15T14:36:00.000+08:00

Went to Marina Square for dinner with my jc girls, then hung around the open area at Esplanade (: nice night out! We're all on different paths and yet we still make time to meet up. I treasure friendships like these. I hope we get to meet up more often though, seems like we see one another too little.

Friendships were never easy to maintain, you just got to put in the effort (:

2011-08-12T20:49:00.000+08:00

XINYING'S FAREWELL.

All my friends are leaving Singapore to study overseas. Okay probably not all, but quite a number of them are flying or already flew to Aussie, UK or US to study.

Frankly, I wouldn't have imagined myself flying overseas alone to study for a couple of years, without my friends and family. It's something which never crossed my mind. I've seen it happen to my friends, but for me to do the same, I can imagine it takes a whole lot of courage.

After I graduated from JC, my dad was asking if I wanted to study overseas, since I couldn't get into a local university. At that point in time, I rejected the suggestion immediately because I couldn't bear to even think of it. It's something quite impossible to me, so I didn't give it a second thought. I really cannot survive on my own. I think about the housework, the administrative work to settle, making friends all over again... my brain very nearly exploded.

Then... I see my friends leaving one by one.

Sometimes I do envy them. They can learn to be independent, have so much more freedom, can try out a new culture, a new society. Everything must be so fresh and interesting to them.

And this is why.... I've decided to be a tour guide!!

In future, after I graduate. I want to travel around the world, experience different things. I don't want to live my whole life cooped up in Singapore. But I don't want to move somewhere permanent too. So my next best option is to be a tour guide. I might take up a tour guide course or something. And I might want to travel to Korea or Taiwan and live & work there for 2 or 3 months. Probably next year, after my exams.

My road to independence!

2011-08-08T16:16:00.000+08:00

Met up with Dawn two months ago to watch Something Borrowed. It was a really nice chick flick! The lead actor is so damn hottttttt. *ahhhh!* And the two lead actresses are so pretty! Had lunch at Xin Wang HK Cafe I love the food there! Sat there for like two hours plus just to talk and eat :D After that, we went shopping! Shopped at Forever 21. Like 90% of my clothes are from F21. Home sweet home!

2011-08-06T21:01:00.002+08:00

IM NOT A SAINT.

Dear Tattle-tale,

Four months ago... You snooped around Facebook, checked up on my profile, my wall, my statuses, told some people about what I wrote in there, behind my back. I found out, confronted you, but you dared not admit it. You pushed the blame to me, said I should learn to respect and tolerate. Guess what. I'll tell you here, SWALLOW YOUR OWN MOTHERFUCKING WORDS DOWN YOUR GUTTER OF AN OESOPHAGUS.

YOU should be the one learning how to RESPECT. Respect my fucking privacy.

You have no right to tell me what I should or shouldn't say in Facebook, no right to tell me to respect, and hell, no fucking right to comment on my mannerism. My mannerism is reserved for worthy people, not a dog. You are a goddamned low dog who does things behind people's backs and then deny everything when you're found out. Don't tattle-tale on people if you're scared.

That happened four months ago, I wouldn't forgive you, not ever, but I wasn't about to bring it up at all until you mentioned it today. I had thought, fine, since it was over, no point bringing it up again and cause unhappiness. We should maintain the status quo, you stay out of my sight, I pretend you're non-existent, you shut your bloody mouth, we don't ever talk, and that's perfectly all right with me. But today. You have to open your big mouth and ask, " Are you still angry with me? "

Well, FUCK YOU.

Oh, so you expect me to say, of course not, I'm not angry anymore, you're forgiven, we can talk like before, nothing's ever happened, everything's fine and dandy. So... HAPPY APRIL'S FOOL. You must be kidding man. Or should I say Happy Children's Day, since you're so naive?

I've said it many times, and I'll say it again. I DON'T FUCKING FORGIVE. AND I DON'T FUCKING FORGET.

You landed me in trouble and you EXPECT me to forgive you and pretend nothing happened and everything's fine and dandy like it was before? OH HELLO, WHO ARE YOU??

Don't be such a nosey-parker next time and you'll save yourself a hell lot of trouble. Butt out, mind your own fucking business, and at least have the balls to admit when you're found out. I do things 100%, when I dare to confront you about it, it means I'm fucking sure you're the one. You won't be able to wriggle out of it.

Lastly, don't ever talk to me.

Sincerely,
A Bitch Whom You Tattled On.

2011-08-03T19:55:00.000+08:00

( I actually typed out a whole chunk but I deleted most of it cause I was so overwhelmed by intense emotions at that point in time and I felt that they were too raw to be read by every one so I edited after I read it later )

I don't understand why people can't be more sincere.

Don't you hate it when someone praises you to the skies and we all know it's just to make conversation? Don't we all hate it? I absolutely hate it when I hear such stuff coming from people and they are obviously, blatantly lying to you! In your face. Right in your freakin' face!! I think they should grow some sincerity.

It's so fake that anyone can see that the person is lying through his/her teeth. It's like so... rehearsed. It seems that they're just saying it for the sake of saying it. Simple as that.

But why?

Isn't it tiring to keep complimenting someone when you don't mean it? I find it ridiculous, and though I hate to admit it, sometimes... amusing. Because it is blatantly fake to me, I don't know if everyone else thinks the same, or whether everyone else is as oblivious to that fact as the person saying it. And then sometimes, I'll put myself in an observer's shoes and try to see whether the fakeness is as obvious to them as it is to me. Sometimes, I pretend I'm a schizophrenic, arguing for both sides. It's fun though.

I just can't figure out why anyone would say something that they don't mean. If they're not sincere about it, why do they even bother saying it. It's like, you don't really have a preference for beef or chicken, both would do fine, but when asked, you'd vehemently insist that you prefer beef. Maybe this analogy isn't exactly what I meant, but you get the point. It's so... pointless, to argue. That's what I'm trying to say. Like how praising someone when you don't mean it is so pointless too.

Sorry to say, that's so not my style so you can save your compliments for someone who believes them.

2011-07-22T15:46:00.001+08:00

SHOPPING FOR FATHER'S DAY PRESSIE WITH HUNNY @ION!!

Met up with Anna hunny for lunch at Soup Spoon and I had beef goulash! Yum yum :3 And the mushroom chicken wrap! :D Chatted for two hours, then went to shop for presents! We went to Sephora and I bought fragrance bubble foam for my dad cause we have this really pretty bathtub in the master bedroom and my dad lovessssss to have his bubble bath there! One Christmas, I bought him two sets of champagne bubble bath cause it was cheaper if I bought two sets and one set is still unused! He said he couldnt bear to use the second set cause it's too pretty so he used it to decorate the bathroom!

There were so many fragrances to choose from! Hunny and I liked the coconut one but it would be funny if my dad came out of the bathroom smelling like a walking coconut tree! So we ended up with cherry and passion fruit. And there was chocolate flavour too! But it smelled (or is it smelt?) super weird!! Too sweet a smell. I felt grossed out after that!

We shopped around some more and I bought Royce chocolates for my godpa! He always brought my sis and I out when we were young and even until now, we'd receive presents from him and godma
every birthday! So yep, shopping done!

Happy day out!! :D

2011-07-12T13:24:00.000+08:00

I'M TWO-O.

Birthday celebration with family! We went to a Korean BBQ restaurant at Centrepoint Orchard which serves really awesome Ginseng Chicken Soup! All the photos except the last two pictures are taken by Gina's camcorder. The quality is so lousy! All the photos so grainy. Daddy mommy bought the camcorder for her birthday. Guess how much.

ONE THOUSAND AND ONE HUNDRED.

wo de tian! S$1100 for a camcorder with lousy photos. Grr. My Canon $300+ camera takes crystal clear photos with vivid colours!! Way better than her super expensive thing -.-''

I'm craving for the Ginseng Chicken Soup again!! Last sunday I was telling daddy I wanna go eat there again. Plus the Dokkbuki and Bibimbab! And Kimchi Pancake. It's making me hungry!!

And Gina spent a bomb on my birthday presents until she no money buy wrapping paper and use plain paper to wrap my presents wtf. Really. The eye cream super expensive!! She bought the Benefit eye cream and Burt's Bees lip balm at Sephora. I was telling her, save more money so she can buy me make up also!! :D HEHEHE.

2011-07-06T08:18:00.000+08:00

Went to JB with kan papa, kan mommy and ahma. It was pouring on our way there. We had lunch at KSL City, the new mall which just opened this year. The Jap restaurant is very pretty! There is a pond there, and waterfall and chandeliers! The price of the food is quite cheap too. There was a promotion and one bowl of noodles was only RM1, less than 50cents in SGD! It was ramyun quality though, those korean instant noodles kind. But there were chicken and japanese fishcake and vegetables so I think it's still cheap!

After that, kan mommy and I went to fix our hair cause we wanted to dye it. RM128 for dye, cut and treatment!! That's like around SGD60. Which is really cheap cause in Singapore, a dye and treatment will set you back by about $150 or so. It was our first time at that salon and the service was pretty good. Also, they use Shiseido hair products so kan mommy and I went back that same salon two days ago to dye our hair again.

Kan mommy looks like a poodle; her hair is so pouffey!! So cute :D I loveeee my hair colour! It's ash brown but I see no ash and I see no brown. Looks more like gold to me. I really liked it a lot, until my friends started commenting and said that I look like a chao ah lian with that colour and my tattoo. What the hell!

Anyway, my hair is reddish copper now and it looks great too! Love how cheap and convenient it is to dye hair in JB!!

(my eyes look really big and round in the last photo lol)

2011-07-01T17:59:00.000+08:00

With Ahma @ Ajisen!

Once in a while, I bring my grandma out for lunch at some place nice cause she's always cooped up at home with nothing to do. This time, we went to Ajisen. My grandma is always saying, "Aiya we go food court to eat, dont eat at restaurants, very expensive" in hokkien. But then, I don't like the idea very much, cause she hardly eats good food. My grandpa is a control freak. Even at this age, my grandma has to be home before evening time to cook dinner. Well, that's just an excuse. He just wants her to be stuck at home rotting away cause he is one sadistic old man with no one to bring him out. If my grandma goes out during the day, she would face a night of interrogation of what she did, where she went, what she ate etc... Which really annoys the hell out of me. Like hello?! My grandma has the freaking right to spend time outside of her confinement of a house and she is under no obligation to report where she is!!

And there was one time, my grandma went out in the morning with her sister to go to their father's tablet at the temple to pray cause it was Qing Ming Festival. They had to travel to buy the incense papers, joss sticks, the kuehs, fruits and meat for the prayer. Then they had to travel to the temple to pray. And then travel back. By the time my grandma reached home, it was about 2pm. My grandpa then scolded her and nagged at her for the rest of the day for coming home "so late". Totally wtf. He claimed that he was worried that she wouldn't be home in time to cook dinner. First, he could cook by himself. Second, he could buy back if he was lazy to cook. Third?? WHAT THE FUCK WHO FUCKING COOKS DINNER AT LIKE 2PM MUTHERFUCKER?!?!

Nabei, I talk about it now I also damn pu hui I tell you. That's why I always only bring my grandma out. I feel so sad for her. Her whole life has been controlled. Ever since she married my grandpa. And it was not because of true love. It was because my grandma wanted to save her sisters from poverty so she married my grandpa cause he was in the construction business (which was booming at that time cause singapore was developing). Sigh, I shouldn't hang dirty linen out here but really!!! It pisses me off real bad!! Nao hia, nowonder all his children and grandchildren not close to him. Argh!!! Fuck it seriously!!!

Okay stop.

Anyway, happy day out with grandma!! :D

2011-06-21T21:36:00.000+08:00

Photos taken on my last day of work at the IT fair @Suntec City. Work was soooo fun! It was a really good experience cause it was my first time working at an IT fair and I know nuts about technology. Really! If you haven't seen my handphone yet, let me tell you... I'm currently using an LG phone which has no Wifi, no 3G, no internet connection at all, plus the back cover of my phone is lost and I used scotch tape to tape the battery in!! Serious.

My phone so cui already, and then everywhere I go, people have like Iphone and Ipad and Blackberry and I look at what my hands are holding and it's an LG phone -.-''

Anyway!! Like I was saying, yeah it was a super fun and good experience. I had to learn about iMac and Parallels and Macbook when I'm a non-Apple, non-Mac user and I had to like convince people to buy Mac stuff? Not easy. The first two days I was like stumbling in my speech every few words cause customers would ask like, Oh so why is Mac better than Windows?, then I'd go like, Umm, cause Mac is faster and has no virus, then the customer would wait to see if I'll say more but I just stop there and leave the conversation hanging lol.

I improved on my conversational skills though! And advertising skills too! I just memorise whatever I have to, like how the software works and stuff, and then when customers ask some stuff I didn't know the answer to, I'd ask my in-charge and then learn from there and when the next customers ask the same questions, I know how to answer them without stumbling on my words!!

And, the sense of satisfaction when someone buys the software from me cause I convinced them to, it's priceless. The hours are long and the pay is peanuts (there are different sizes of nuts, like almonds and macademias, but mine happens to be groundnuts.) but at the end of the day, I think it's the experience and satisfaction that counts.

So... after this IT fair experience, I think I'd like to work in more fairs in future!! For now, I'll prolly get a weekday job like waitressing, and weekends I'll still be teaching. Anyone got weekday job please intro me okay!!

Toodles!

2011-06-20T01:46:00.001+08:00

XMEN WITH JIAQIAN!

XMEN is actually not my type of movie. My type of movie is the princess, romantic love story type. Girl with sad and difficult life, meets cute guy, cute guy helps her in embarrassing situations, cute guy falls in love with poor girl, poor girl transforms into beauty, they both get married and live together happily forever ever. Aww true love :')

Sooo bimbo, I know :P

But true what!! Every girl wanna have this kind of love life, right? Dream of falling in love with a cute and rich and loving guy and living till forever with him. Oh I sidetracked tsk.

Anyway! I wanted to watch a chick flick but Jiaqian had to watch it with another friend so we watched XMEN luh. It wasn't too bad, but really... not quite my type of movie la. The diamond girl was hot though! Her boobs and legs were pretty! I'm not trying to sound like a lesbian here lol. I still prefer guys!!

So after the movie, we had dinner at Yoshinoya and guess whattttt. My obsession with pudding milk tea has upped a notch wtf -.-'' We challenged ourselves to try the green tea with red bean pudding. The outcome was... tragic. It was so so so horrible and the pudding kind of MELTED after we finished our rice. It just turned into a watery mess with the green juice flowing eeew.

And yeah, I hate carrots. I'm not a rabbit yo!

2011-06-17T00:44:00.000+08:00

Met up with my JC girls for dinner at Nando's last week!! The chicken with Peri-Peri sauce was really good. It was tender and juicy and I love grilled chicken!! But the bad thing is their service. Staff was not friendly and unattentive; waiting time for food was long. And the worst thing is... the price. It's like very pricey for a small piece of chicken. Total bill came up to about $80 I think. Not quite value-for-money if you ask me. And if you ask if I'll go back again, the answer is no, cause the service is really bad and the food is expensive. Good company though! Caught up with my friends after soooo long. Sigh, wish we had more time together!! All of us are either busy with work or school, we hardly ever meet up anymore!

2011-06-15T14:27:00.000+08:00

camwhoring with my webcam while waiting for my stupid sister to wake up and get ready to go to the beach!! it's 2pm already and she's still sleeping!! i woke up at 6am, had mac breakfast, visited my grandma, came back home AND SHE'S STILL SLEEPING. oh my god i think my parents reared a pig for fifteen years without knowing!! EUGENIA HO HUI MIN CAN YOU PLEASE GET YOUR ARSE OFF THE FREAKIN BED. grr!!

2011-06-14T15:32:00.000+08:00

HELLO!!

I've been pretty busy lately!! Going out a lot. Meeting friends for dinner, movies, working at IT Fair, giving tuition classes, having lunch at IKEA with my sis, going to the temple to pray with my grandma etc... and then there are days which I'd laze and roll around in my bed the whole day, muching on titbits and watching tv and using Facebook. Best holidays spent!! And this is a REAL holiday - no homework or sickening projects like how "holidays" were in secondary and jc GEEZ SOME HOLIDAY THAT WAS.

So now that the IT Fair is over and there's two more weeks left in june, it means countdown 3 months to start of school!! Oh man.. This week is kinda filled with schedules already so YAY!! Tomorrow I'm going to the beach with my sis, to cycle and lunch and enjoy the breeze. Thursday I'm gonna meet up with my secondary school friends for lunch and shopping!! And friday I'm meeting up with my hunny Anna for lunch and to catch up!! Whee cant wait!! :D Anna hunny I super miss you la!! Weekends... will be spent at the tuition centre teaching my brats HAHAHA.

At the IT Fair right, my colleague Jinwei was asking me what my actual job is. So I told him I'm a tutor and he was like giving me the WTF-WHY-ARE-YOU-LYING face. KNN!! Eh, dye hair got tattoo means cannot teach ar!! -.-'' And then I said, really la, I'm a tutor, and it took him some time to be convinced that I wasn't lying. Walao, insult sia.

And next week, I'm flying off to Taiwan!! Foooood. And shopping :D hehehe!!

2011-05-31T16:36:00.000+08:00

2011-05-27T06:55:00.000+08:00

2011-05-25T06:32:00.000+08:00

Ivan, Joyce, me.

Ivan, Joyce, me, Chris, Junyi

Me and Huini.

Weiseong and Mengsiang. Both of them are Jasons!!

Me and Joyce. X_X

Chris and Weiseong

Mengsiang, Weiseong, me, Yvonne

Me and Amelia.

Me and Weiseong

Love the flower balloon!

Me and Miko

Me and Audrey

Junyi, me, Gifford.

There're 300+ photos but I'm sooo lazy, can't be bothered to post all! Anw, these are way overdue cause Chingay was in Feb. Miss those late night dances!! And bubbling!! When will everyone get to gather again... sooo difficult!! Cause RMIT, UOL and UB start school in different semesters :/

2011-05-08T22:23:00.000+08:00

Seeing " Happy Mother's Day ", " I love you mom!" , " Having Mommy's Day dinner now " all over Facebook, it makes me envious.

I've been home since 7.30pm, my dad gone for dinner with his friends probably, my mom at her friend's birthday bbq party, my sis in the living room eating instant noodles. A year ago, we'd all be sitting in an expensive hotel, having an expensive buffet dinner, drinking expensive wine in celebration. Three years ago, we'd be eating seafood or japanese food or steak, chatting happily over dinner, making scary ghost expressions in the car on the way home. Like how we stare blankly and wave slowly at other drivers when the cars stop at traffic lights. And then we'd all burst out laughing at the shocked and frenzied expressions of the drivers we managed to prank.

All these, are probably being forgotten, buried somewhere. But I remember. I store them away safely in a corner of my heart, taking these memories out in times of solitude to reminisce.

It's hard to be close to my family any more. Things turned out quite badly, I suppose. Hurtful words exchanged, things left unexplained. I can't be close to my mum, no affinity I guess. Or maybe she destroyed our relationship. She had been telling everyone that I treat her like an atm and a chauffeur. She told our relatives and her colleagues, in my presence. She said I'll only suck up to her when I need someone to drive me or when I need money. Can you imagine hearing that, those hurtful words, said by your own mother, deliberately in front of you, to shame you, to let everyone around think how unfilial you are? Those words, they sting. And my heart? It broke. It will never be the same again. No matter if she apologised, or bought me stuff to compensate for it, to relieve her of her guilt, which she never did by the way, it can never erase the pain I felt when I heard those words uttered by her. I felt so... betrayed. How my mother can so easily turn around and stab me.

I hope none of you will have to go through what I have been through, the emotional anxiety that I face. And I hope the you who is reading this will have a joyful mother's day celebration with your mum. Have a nice night.

2011-05-02T23:58:00.000+08:00

I miss you. I miss our girly talk, our gossip, our calls, our dinners, our similar dressing, our chemistry. Why have we stopped talking, grown so distant, not contacted each other for half a year already? You were my best girlfriend. I could talk to you about anything, you know. Tell you all my secrets, trusting that no one would ever hear about them. Not care about what people say because I know what kind of person you are. It hurts cause you don't remember all these. I hope I can find another best girlfriend like you.

2011-04-28T21:49:00.000+08:00

FB status : this stranger from indo added me on fb. i dont know him, so i rejected his friend request. then he sent me a message "wei shen me, wei shen meeeee" asking why i rejected his request. like hello?!?! it's a request, so i have every right to reject you, dumbfuck.

moral of the story : i hate stupid people. senseless, brainless, dumb people do not belong in my world. dont talk to me because you're a waste of my time. oh by the way, dont even look at me cause you have no freaking right cause you're dumb. is this explicit enough? ugh grow up. or grow some brains.

2011-04-25T21:07:00.000+08:00

Let's party the night away, love.

Party Rock is in the house tonight
Everybody Just have a good time
And we gon make you lose yo mind
Everybody Just have a good time

2011-04-22T19:51:00.000+08:00

Life has been good recently, feeling happier, more content, less angsty. But I think I've been too slack with myself. My finals are coming, left with about one more week to study, and yet I'm going out, FB-ing, meeting friends for dinner, sleeping 12 hours a day, going JB with godparents. I should stop this procrastination!!

I'm studying Econs now, more or less done revising for Math1 and Math2. Received my results for most of my subjects and I'm pretty satisfied with what I got, except for Stats. I got above 80% for Math1 and Stat1, which I'm very satisfied about. Econs I passed, with 44% ( for UOL passing mark is 34% ) and I'm okay with this result cause I thought I'd fail. And the least satisfied one would be Stat2, which I only got 10% cause I didn't understand the ANOVA theory and Gary was being such a lousy lecturer the whole lecture hall couldnt understand WTF he was teaching. Oh, and for my Law module I got 37%, which I'm satisfied with just a pass. So left one more Math2 paper which I haven't gotten back the result. Will get it back on monday I think.

Planning to go Taiwan again, for about 4 days to eat and shop after my exams. Anyone interested?? Probably in June. Text me yeah.

A couple of days ago, one of my ex-students FB messaged me to ask how I was doing and just dropped by to say hello. I was touched, cause he used to be one of my students whom I'm closest to. We'd chat and hang out and walk to the bus stop together, and text just to drop a hello. But after he graduated, we kinda stopped contacting for a period of time cause we're busy with our own stuff and we no longer see each other as much. Still happy that we're not totally MIA (: If you're reading this, do well in Poly and don't stop loving math!! :D I'm so proud of you, that you got A (or is it B?) for amath when you got F9 in sec3 all the way!!

Before I end this post, wanna tell you all that I changed my hair colour!! My hairstylist said it's ash-brown but I see no ash and I see no brown. More like golden I think?? I kinda like the colour he chose for me, but I think it'd be nicer if the colour were more bright and light. I'm sick of dark, brown hair. And I notice how I always notice people's hair first before their facial features. So if you're ugly but have super chio and stylish hair, I'd still think you're pretty and cute.

But if you have cute face and ugly or obiang hair, then bye-bye please eff off and don't talk to me thank you very much. Before I turn nasty. EFF OFF now. NOW. HEHEHE I kid. ^^

2011-04-17T01:28:00.001+08:00

Mahjong & Singapore Flyer

Met up with Chris, Qinying, Mengsiang and Weixiang at White Sands, bought lots of sweets/gummies/chocolates (later you'll know why!) and lunch, wanted to walk over to Weixiang's house but it was raining super heavily!! Like one moment the sky was grey and the next moment... BAM!! Raining cats and dogs and hippopotamuses and sealions wtf. But!! Lucky Chris got the car that day and he drove us to Weixiang's house instead.

Playing with Chris' stupid monkey with the cute belly button (who lives in his car). Hehehe *tickle!

Went to Weixiang's house, played mahjong using the candies we bought!! I feel super noob with all of them lei, cause they all know how to count mahjong money and I don't!! I only know how to play. And when they play, they are all like super pro one, think a lot just to throw out one tile -.-'' LOL we also not play using real money!! Don't so serious can, I will stress one! :X

After that, Weiseong joined us at Weixiang's house, played some card games and it's by luck one. Each person will draw one card, the person who draws King will call out a number. The person with the number called out will have to do a dare with the person who drew King. Something like that. I have this fetish for my hair, cause I like sniffing my hair (it's clean ok!! and it smells so good.) So when I kena forfeit right, they ask me to smell Chris' hair. Super weird to smell someone else's hair LOL. But his hair smells nice!! And when I kena again, they ask Weiseong to smell my hair. Hahaha smells so xiang right ~

By evening time, Weixiang and Qinying had to leave cause they have free tickets from Chingay to the Singapore Flyer. The rest of us (Chris, Weiseong, Mengsiang and me) tagged along cause we wanted to meet up again after their ride to have dinner together. In the end, it turned out that they had extra tickets so we got to sit the Flyer for free too!! Chris drove us to Marina Square.

On the way to Marina Square with Chris being our chauffeur for the day :P

HAI LAODA!! :D Don't always emo kay, and don't always get drunk!!

Btw, lucky that day I got put on a bit of make up and some eyeliner. I thought we'd just go mahjong at Weixiang's house for a while then go home so I was lazy to put on eyeliner. But that day I had an epiphany and my vainpottyness took over and I decided to put on eyeliner. Lucky siol!! Or else I don't know how I got face to go until Marina there to take the Flyer without any eye make up. #girlsarevain

Laoda!! Pro at camwhoring with my camera la ass. Always steal my camera then zi pai. Wont paiseh one lor -.-''

I like this photo but laoda never smile. wth!!

With Weiseong. Camwhore fail.

Mengsiang, me, Weiseong. See the butterfly ring I was wearing? I bought it together with my sis and she has an identical one. I lost it!!!! My fave ring so far but I can't seem to find it anywhere grrrrr!!!

Our SUAVE chauffeur. Must praise him so that he'll chauffeur us around more :D hehehe. Blasted dance tracks, singing to them and speeeeeeding down along the expressways. Shiok!!

Miss my butterfly ring ): The pink watch is Weixiang's. He lent it to me to wear for the day!! So pink and girly LOL.

Qinying and Weixiang had to report at the Flyer to get the tickets from their leader first. So the four of us hung around at Marina Square. We were so lucky!!! That day happened to be the last day of balloon exhibition and we took photos. But halfway we went to the Flyer so after that we came back to take photos with the pretty balloons again.

My VIRGIN experience (taking the flyer la LOL what were you thinking!!! :P ) FREE some more!!

UP UP UP HERE WE GOOOOO.

Beautiful night sky with city lights. Love!

My camera isn't even semi-pro so it doesnt really do much justice to the beauty of the view.

THIS!!! This is the track, OUR TRACK, our dance floor, our stage!!! This whole stretch was where we performed our hearts out for Chingay. So many beautiful memories!! There used to be stands, spotlights, the tents, Chingay floats, and lots of hyper performers. Those were the times :')

Night sky spotted with lights. How dazzling!

Imagine those engineers/technicians/repairmen have to climb up this long ladder to check the gears and if the bolts are loose and the electric wirings. *shudder

At the highest point!! Laoda Mengsiang told me to take photos of a fountain below, ask me to stand near the glass panel and zoom into the fountain to take a picture. When I was concentrating and zooming in, suddenly someone grabbed my shoulders and shook me!!! Like super duper hard until I wanna fall down. Scared me to death!! Mengsiang and Weixiang know I scared of heights, so they pakat to scare me la. Ass leh!! I still stupidly go and zoom in wtf -.-'' Feel so idiot.

Marina Bay Sands shooting out lights trying to connect with UFOs and aliens to warn them to keep off Singapore. Bugger off, we'll not succumb to outer space attacks!! (Chris said that to me cause he thinks I'm a three-year-old kid wtf #imnotanidiot)

Chris and Weiseong being caught on camera while they're lovey-dovey!! Our "couple" for the night. They keep whipering and telling each other secrets the whole night la, must be cooing sweet nothings to each other. :P (but later on they say it's bromance yo!)

Dinner @ Yoshinoya. Hungry TTM!! Chris say the orange-coloured drink is orange juice, so I drank it. But guess what. Turned out, it's mango juice la!! And all along he thought it's orange juice with milk wtf. I drink one sip I know it's mango already cause I don't eat mango!! In the end I stole Weixiang's coke.

Bromance uh!! *love*

After dinner, we walked around some more and took photos at the balloon exhibition!! So pretty la all the balloons. :D Then Chris sent us all home after that. And we live all over Singapore. Boonkeng, Angmokio, Tampines, Pasirris, Kewcrescent. FHL hahahaha.

2011-04-15T21:47:00.000+08:00

Last week, Mengsiang ( I call him lao da cause he looks and behaves like chao ah beng, and he calls me lao bu cause that time I refer to myself as laoniang wtf. And he is 22 wtf so much older still dare to call me lao bu wtf)

Anywayssss I was saying, last week Mengsiang texted me when I was in school to help him go online check where his lecture is held cause he was late and lazy go check LCD for the venue -.-'' So he texted me his IC number and password to log in to his account. And guess what. Ben xiaojie changed his password!! I changed it to jasmineiscute. LOL X100000!

I told lao da to try log in and gave him some hints. I said, the first two words are "jasmine is..." then ask him guess the last word. First try he guessed jasmineispretty then I said no, then second try he said " Jasmine, if the last word is not pretty means it is cute already. So the password is jasmineiscute!! "

Walao -.-'' Is it lao da too smart or is it I too predictable uh??

2011-04-12T18:22:00.000+08:00

Forgot to PS in the last post so here it is.

PS. James Tay, Helmi, Amanda Sim, Harold, Weixiang, Willie, Qinying ... Thanks for all your texts/calls to ask if I'm okay after seeing my FB status that night. Really appreciate it (: Thank you my dear friends.

2011-04-11T00:11:00.000+08:00

So much to deal with this week. I'm exhausted. Too much drama, I just give up. Don't wanna deal with nonsense anymore, such a waste of my time.

I don't wish to hang my dirty laundry out here online for everyone to read but seriously? I need a space of my own. I need an outlet to vent my stresses, my frustrations, my unhappiness and all my indignities. I feel so pent up, like everything is contained within my small heart. I'm about to burst ; explode ; like how a balloon will burst anyway when the pressure inside gets too high no matter how elastic it is. Just a matter of time yknow.

Last friday, I had a fight with Motherfucker about eating in my room and not throwing the food packet in the kitchen MYSELF. I told the maid to do it and M was pissed wtf? This is totally ridiculous cause

1) we have maids. what is the fucking use of employing them when I have to wash my own clothes, dishes, and even throw my own rubbish? yes my dad has a family rule of washing my own clothes and dishes which is downright stupid because that's precisely the reason why we hire maids, no?

And 2) even if I dont bring the food packet to the kitchen, even if there will be cockroaches and lizards in my room, this is MY ROOM we're talking about. I sleep in this room, not M!!! Why should she care if it's infested with pests? I like my room dirty, I have a fetish for smelly, unhygienic rooms, CANNOT AH?

We had a huge fight which ended up with her jumping around in my room (pretty sure my next door neighbours could hear thumps), banging on my wardrobes and wall, and screaming until my door rattled. And then within all that commotion, I was surprised that I could actually still keep my calm and talk in a nice tone. I didn't for once raise my voice like I normally would. But that bitch continued screaming and being all nonsensical and after all that drama (i swear if she weren't my mum and i didn't wanna be struck by lightning, i'd have given her a hundred bitch slaps by now), she said something which really REALLY pissed me off. Motherfucker said, " You believe I'll slap you? "

Like HELLOOOOOO?!?!

Oh Hi Mom, GUESS HOW OLD AM I NOW??? (:

Oh no mom, I wasn't born 5 years ago. I'm not so small, to be afraid of you and your cane, to smile like an idiot after receiving a lollipop, to jump around in happiness when you say you'd bring me to the zoo. Guess what? I'm twenty, a big TWO-O. I'm even old enough to be a mom myself if I were slutty enough to sleep around wtf.

Okay serious now. She had the AUDACITY to THREATEN to hit me. Isn't it ridiculous? Am I supposed to be scared?

She has totally no right, no fucking right and I TELL YOU WHY. Don't say she is my mum so she has the right to educate me and all that shit, I'm not interested. Because firstly, if she were to educate me, she'd have done so a decade earlier when I was still educable, impressionable and most importantly when I was still in a learning stage. Where the hell was she when I needed her? Where the fuck? She was buried in her work, in her tv shows, in everything else except me. Secondly, if hitting a child or threatening to hit a child were education, you wouldn't see any child alive today, because all parents would hit their children to death to educate them better. Understood?

This matter is not over yet, but it worsened on saturday. On sat, I went out with my friends, reached home around 3am. While I was out, my sis texted me, saying M was in my room, going through my wardrobe, my drawers, basically checking my room. Look, everyone has his own privacy, respecting people's privacy is the basis of all trust. If she doesn't know how to respect me (and my privacy), she doesn't deserve a pinch of my respect. How would you feel if someone went through your stuff, while you were out, and then NOT feel a single bit of guilt or remorsefulness after doing such a thing, and then have her tell you that she has every right to check your stuff just because she is your mum? I'd say, check all you want, scream and be dominating and authoritative all you want, but you better wake up your idea before everyone leaves you and then you'll be all lonely and sorry on your deathbed. This is all I have to say.

On sunday, I posted on FB this " I cant stand it anymore. mutherfucker went through my room while i was not around at home. she intruded into my privacy. im moving out. any lobangs for cheap rentals? "

My P5 cousin saw that, told her dad, who told my grandma and all my aunts, who called my parents up and told them I want to move out. LIKE SERIOUSLY?? I can't belive my uncle is so senseless; doesn't he know that he's making things a lot worse for me by telling it to the rest of the family instead of clarifying it with me first?? And the best thing is, he doesn't even have the guts to admit that he was the one who blabbered it to everyone. What?? Scared I confront you ah? Scared then keep your mouth shut!! Dare to say behind my back DON'T DARE to admit. Fucked up.

I immediately went home to delete all my family members from facebook. EVERY.SINGLE.FUCKING.ONE. Not a single chance for anyone to use his online persona to find out what I'm thinking or doing and then tattle-tale to other family members. Are you stupid or what? You're P5, you should know what to tell adults and what to keep quiet about. In short, just keep your bloody fucking cheebye mouth shut and nothing would have happened, you horseface.

After I deleted all family from fb, I posted this as my status " Oh so now I can't even post my feelings and vent my frustrations on Facebook without some nosey fucker relatives stalking me and tattle tale it to my parents behind my back. Fuck yeah I'm angry beyond words. I don't forgive, to hell with you. "

When I say I don't forgive, I swear by it.

By the way, I know my cousins read this and hell yeah, this post is DEDICATED to all fucktards involved, please invite your parents and all aunts and uncles and all family members to read, so that they know how fucking much I hate them, and oh, tell my mum aka motherfucker to read too, so she knows how much of a motherfucker she really is.

2011-03-31T22:21:00.000+08:00

Settler's Cafe @SMU

Big boys getting all excited about arcade games!! And then screaming " I WIN!! " in each other's faces lol -.-'' still kids.

Went for our movie, Gnomeo & Juliet, then travelled to Settler's Cafe @SMU to spend our evening.

Lookie, their menu is in the form of monopoly!! Call me suaku i don't care. Very amused with the concept!!

Their food is pretty pricey, but if you order a set inclusive of 4 hours of games, it's only $15 per pax, plus free flow of drinks!!

Super excited about this monkey game!! Throw in all the monkeys, remove the sticks and the person with the most number of monkeys loses. I lost this game and my forfeit was to finish an entire cup of tea without being able to go for toilet break for the next game. Must hold in my pee wtffff!!

Our yummilicious chicken chops and fish&chips. So so good. We were starving by then cause we didn't have lunch!!

Then we played UGLY UGLY UGLY. Basically this game is everyone takes turns to flip open a card, when three of the same picture pops out, we have to shout " UGLY UGLY UGLY " and grab the cards. My laoda Mengsiang the smart aleck suggested shouting " JASMINE JASMINE JASMINE " instead. Wtf why are my friends always suaning me. -.-''

Chris lost the game and had to drink passion fruit tea plus lots of ketchup!!! Diarrhoea concoction. Hehehe no la, Chris said it tasted good!! :D

When Weiseong went to the toilet, we ransacked his wallet and took photos of his NRIC and SIM student card!! Last time he really one chao ah beng luh, see his guai lan face and fighter style. Sigh why do I have so many ah beng friends!! Bad influence.

This is my laoda Mengsiang!! He always camwhore with my camera when we tell him to take photos of us instead wtf.

Me, Audrey, Qinying.

Gifford (I call him slut!!) , Weiseong, Mengsiang, Chris.

Fun night out with my friends!! I really appreaciate them cause I feel very comfortable around them. I can be at my most unglam moment with them around and I won't care a single bit, yeah I'm comfy like that. Love you guys so much!! :D

2011-03-27T00:27:00.000+08:00

HI EVERYONE!! :D

A significant chapter of my life this year was to be part of Chingay 2011 and here are some of the recaps!! i really enjoyed the entire journey and this experience is truly once in a lifetime. Of course, it wouldn't be as much fun and as memorable as it had been if not for awesome friends who went on this journey with me. Love the friendships forged and I hope we have many many more fun times to come!! It's gonna be a diarrhoea of photos so enjoy~!!

These are only photos from the training days, where nights were spent in the Ngee Ann Poly Alumni House and where we have yummilicious catered buffet dinner waiting for us!! Those hotdog and tuna rolls, cream puffs, chocolate blueberry mini cakes, puddings, siew mais, finger sandwiches.... :3 yummy!! And then after trainings, some of us would travel to Clementi to have bubble tea and chat till 2 hours later where we'd rush for the last train!! Hehehe how memorable. And we'd have so much fun chatting and gossiping and laughing out loud. Really love those times and love you guys in my life MWAHS!!

Chingay Part 2 coming up!!

2011-03-25T00:51:00.000+08:00

Jasmine Lovespuddingmilktea

I'm hungry but it's 8.45pm and I'm being very anal about not eating after 8pm. FML.

Lee Jun Yi - Dn bluff leh den u tt time still eat supper.

Lobbie Koh - HAHAHA!

Jasmine Lovespuddingmilktea - THAT ONE IS EXCEPTION LA ASSSSS

Lee Jun Yi - im very anal about exceptions. :P
[ Meng Siang likes this. ]

FML WHY ARE MY FRIENDS LIKE THAT. -.-''

2011-03-24T21:56:00.000+08:00

Down with flu and cough!! I always always fall sick when I don't have enough sleep. I think I fell sick after sleeping for an hour the night before and going out the whole day the next day. Sunday till now X_X someone chase the flu bug away!! And I cough until I got six pecs already FML FML FML.

I went to the hair salon today!! Chopped off about two inches of my locks. No more split ends!! :D I haven't stepped into a salon for more than a year already. The last time I went was to rebond my hair before chinese new year last year. So anyways, the salon auntie complimented on how well I take care of my hair cause my hair is still damn straight and silky!! No need to rebond again soon!! Hehehe happy day.

2011-03-21T23:53:00.000+08:00

Lunch at CityLink, yummy soft shell crab ramen!! Study at Starbucks, play iPhone games, dinner at bugis roadside stalls, dessert at Ah Chew, arcade and then homeeeee. Awesome day!! :D

2011-03-17T22:28:00.000+08:00

Recently, I have this super bad (and physically painful) habit. I like to crack my big toes. Like even if cannot crack I also will ngeh ngeh force it to crack and release a satisfying sound so that I can feel that I win the stupid big toes cause if they don't crack means I lose wtf.

I can crack up to a maximum of fourteen times on my right big toe and probably about five times on my left big toe consecutively. As you can already see, I feel very indignant about losing to my left big toe more times than I lose to my right big toe. Annoying as hell. So I try to crack more.

I think I'll crack them once every few minutes just to feel the shiokness of it.

2011-03-14T17:20:00.000+08:00

JOYCE'S 21ST BIRTHDAY!

Tiffany smiling like spongebob :D

Birthday Bitch Joyce!

Chris acting cute with the head warmer. Tsk!

All the chingay group 7 people!! I'm the only one not from group 7.

Love this photo! I look so cute :P Zilian ftw!

Xiuqi!! She's got really pretty eyes and she loves Jonghyun too!!

Tiffany and Xiuqi!

Singing birthday song for Joyce. Before cake cutting, Joyce's family made all the chingay people dance our hip hop segment! Paiseh ttm. (x

Happy bimbo with her present!! We bought her a gold Winnie the Pooh pendant and the Spongebob balloon (:

Playing monopoly deal. I super noob, dont know how to play. So Chris was teaching me how it works and I got bored. -.-''

Everyone at the party :D

Gifford (my slut!!) and Weiseong.

Me and Xiuqi trying to grab Tiff's boobies ( . )( . )

Puffyface!!

Joyce digging out her pendant!

Xiuqi and her pretty eyes. Glistening in the light. Sparkly eyes!

Group photo with everyone!!

Me the the wig! The theme for this party was to dress weird. But the birthday girl herself never follow the theme!! I think only our clique dressed weird.

Tiffany bunny teeth!!

Birthday girl and I (: Super miss her cause now we both having exams so havent met each other since that day!!

Chris trying to grab my head!! :X

RAWRRRR.

My Joycieeee (:

Chris helping me put on the wig. The wig feels gross and keep sticking to my face!! Yuck.

Love this photo!

Om nom noms. Yummy chocolate fudge cake!

Monopoly deal, which I havent mastered yet.

Cute girl with cute balloon *dodge rotten eggs being thrown my way*

Sweet photo. Tiffany and meeee. Love this girl.

Everyone acting retarded. Candid!!

Happy night out with friends!!

Some of them left early cause got work the next day. So left the few of us who stayed back till 3am to chit chat. Went home with chris, weiseong and gifford. Reached home like 4am, bathed, fb-ed and then knocked out!!

2011-03-11T13:47:00.000+08:00

You'll get it if you learn algebra!! XD hahahaha! This is so brilliant!!

I'm studying for my Math2 prelim paper tomorrow. Yeah it sucks!! Prelim! On a saturday! WTF! But on a happier note, IT'S MATHSSSS what can be wrong/unhappy when it's maths?? :D :D :D

I was thinking these few days and I concluded that.... if my studies fail, I'm going to be a make-up artist or tour guide!! At least I want to try out these two jobs before I die. I want to help girls become more beautiful, more confident! And for tour guide... that's to go on free overseas trips with all expenses paid AND I get paid for travelling overseas! How awesome!! *daydreaming*

HEHEHE :P soooo happy just thinking about it *delirious*

I love late night suppers. LAUPARSAT/SIMPANG BEDOK anyone???

2011-03-10T20:47:00.001+08:00

I have an obsession. It is with myself.

2011-03-08T14:11:00.000+08:00

Malaysia, JB!!

This is a continuation of the JB post a few entries below. I went with my mum and her colleagues. We hired two coaches to take us into JB and to drive us around for the whole day.

The first thing we entered Malaysia was to look for food!! Drove to this kopitiam to have some local delights and I like how it's bustling with Singaporeans and Malaysians having breakfast too! There's a large variety to choose from, but the char kway teow and wanton mee are most popular.

Our table filled with food!! :3 yums!

My aunty LOVESSSS to act cute!! :P

After we finished our breakfast, we were sitting around and happily chatting. Then, we spotted something coming our way and everybody SIAMMM like crazy. Like BAM! Everyone ran away. Guess what...??

Damn you, stupid smelly yellow rubbish truck!

Happy us with filled tummies on the way to shopping!!

Cute beetle cake I spotted! :D

Love these furry bedroom slippers!! Soooo cute :D I bought a butterfly pair and a beetle pair. And I wear them out!! I dont wear them in my bedroom though they're bedroom slippers!

My mum's colleague for 12 years and still counting! Aunty Doris practically watched me grow up. Green tea ice cream is yums!

Love colourful donuts!! So cute right! Pop them into your mouth! :3

This xiao meimei is Belle, daughter of one of my mum's colleagues. So sweet!! She'll offer you her bread without you having to ask. Good manners she has (:

My sis and I!!

MEI MEI YOU STILL OWE ME IKEA MEATBALLS AND ICE CREAM AND I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS CAUSE YOU STALK ME ON FB AND MY BLOG EVERY DAY SO DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER READ!!! :D

2011-03-06T23:41:00.000+08:00

Dear parents,

please be appreciative if your older child is willing to help your younger child do YOUR job as a parent. Don't complain and talk behind your older child's back. Walls have ears. Lastly, my material is copyrighted. If you want to rewrite, come up with your own words, not copy my words in its entirety.

Sincerely,

Older Child.

2011-03-01T00:41:00.000+08:00

My pretty bling bling gold nails!! They could have lasted for another week but I itchy hand go scratch at it and peeled the whole piece of nail polish off. It's like skinning my nails man. When you tug at one corner, slowly pull up, the whole piece can come off one. I'm still very amused. Which is why I kept trying and all my 10 fingers now no more gold bling blings. FML.

This dog sooooo cute!! I was walking from my house to the bus stop then when I walk past, this dog stopped eating the grass and look up at me. He saw I take out my camera then he keep staring. Camwhore bastard sia.

Chocolate fudge from emicakes!! My dose of happiness. Chocolates make me happy! When I'm stressed or upset I eat dark chocolate to make myself happy again (: Really it works!!

My nail colours keep changing!! Love to see my nails being pampered but super lazy to paint and air dry them. Pain in the ass cause while waiting if you accidentally kena hp while smsing or laptop while surfing net then the whole nail polish is destroyed. Why cant they dry faster!!

2011-02-25T11:40:00.000+08:00

SIM INCANDESCENCE is 1st runner up for the Chingay dance competition!!

We received the news last night via FB and sms while 2 dance captains and the in-charge went for the Chingay Appreciation Dinner held by PAssion at Downtown East. Our prize is $5000 cash plus title honour. And we're invited to join next year's Chingay event as well.

We got mixed feelings about getting 2nd. We were gunning for champion ($15000 cash) and we were pretty confident we could get it. The only thing that pulled down our marks by judges was our costume. It got the lowest marks. I think everyone saw it coming. Our spirit, showmanship, dance and choreography were definitely the best among all the contingents. But our costume totally cannot make it. One of the judges didn't even NOTICE our dance. So it probably means he didn't grade us. And taking that into consideration, with the loss of one judge's marks, we can STILL get second, it means something right. The other 2 judges DEFINITELY gave us really high marks, just that our marks for costume pulled everything down. What a regret.

ANYWAYS... we're still satisfied with the result cause some of us rewatched the Chingay telecast on xinmsn to see the performance of the CHAMPION group. Bharatha arts or some shit. It was so-so, we definitely could beat them hands down had our costume been more colourful and outstanding. To think we paid such good money for it. It costed SIM $300 per costume, and we have about 100 people in our contingent!! Plus food and transportation and booking of the venue for dance practices, SIM already invested a lot of money. But the reputation and glory we bring back is immeasurable.

I wanna join again next year!! Never regretted joining. Met so many nice friends and I really hope we can continue to hang out like we always have!!

2011-02-24T12:32:00.000+08:00

Am supposed to study at tampines library today but I woke up late. Confirm plus chop there no seats already so I decided to stay home to study today. I think the laptop is a huge distraction. Just woke up, 12pm now. Hopefully I can study till 7pm today. Got a lot to cover. Statistics and economics. Killer modules. I'm pretty much done with maths already. Loveeeee maths!

Felt pretty upset yesterday. Seems like I always say the wrong things huh? Like before I say something, never go through my brain and then AFTER I say it, I think about it and realize I shouldn't have said it. What a genius.

Times like these make me feel like I shouldn't be human. No point for me to live a couple of decades and then die and disappear right? So what if you're smart famous popular rich? Every one is equal at the deathbed. No matter how enriching or fulfiling your life is, or how much you helped people or made people's lives better, you're still going to die. I don't fear death, but it makes me wonder... why are humans created at all?

If there were no humans, the earth would be empty, the sun would still be there, the waters will still flow, the only difference is that there won't be urbanisation. Probably there'll still be plants and insects and earth would still go around the sun. So what is the whole point of creating humans?

Couple of weeks ago, my friend was telling me on msn how he's afraid to not exist anymore. He doesn't wanna see his death coming. I guess that makes sense. I don't want to know when or how I'll die, I just want to die suddenly, without pain. I want to die alone, cause I don't want to see loved ones crying. Probably in my sleep. That's the most painless death. Not of murder or drowning or suffocation.

Shall stop pondering over such irrelevant issues at this stage of my life. Should be studying already, byeeee!!

Oh right, before I go, mahjong after my exams anyone??

Okay going off for real now, byeee!!

2011-02-23T19:24:00.000+08:00

Don't know what the hell happened to my previous blog skin, had "domain unregistered" plastered all over it. Annoying as hell but I got no time to change the blog skin as yet so I'll leave it as this. Will change to a nicer blog skin when my exams are done.

2011-02-22T00:06:00.002+08:00

2011-02-21T00:07:00.000+08:00

TA DAA~~~ !!

Secret revealed :P

I didn't chop off my hair!! I love my hair so so so much, if you chop off my hair I'd DIE. My meimei thought I chopped off my hair too, and she ran over to my room to check if my hair's still there planted on my head after she read the previous blog post LOL.

So anyways!! I borrowed it from a chingay friend from another contingent ( this wig was used as their performance prop ) for a friend's 21st birthday party!! The theme was to dress as weird as you can so I thought I'd go as a red head. Will blog with pictures when I'm free!! :D It was a fun night with the chingay people and closed-door talks with the guys *winks!! Hahaha now I know so many secrets I'm about to burst oh my gawddd ahahaha wtf!!

For now, I'm studying for my prelims which is in 2 weeks' time!! After that is hanging out till the wee hours to chat and mahjong already can't wait can't wait omg!! I'm having so much fun I'm so glad I didn't enter NUS NTU I'm so glad I came to SIM I'm so glad I joined chingay and I'm super super thankful to have met so many nice guys and girls who bring me so much joy just sitting there bitching gossiping and chatting about all the most random ( and sexually explicit ) stuff, really fun to hang out with you guys love you all mwahs!!

Wow what happened to all my punctuations?

2011-02-17T18:49:00.001+08:00

FINALLY.

Been wanting to chop off those locks of mine but haven't found courage to do so. Until today. It annoys the shit out of me. When the wind blows, those stupid hairs slap my face mercilessly. And when they get into my eyes, I worry that I'll get a cut in my cornea. Paranoid.

Takes forever to wash, condition, comb and blow-dry. I'm so glad they're gone!! But a bit regretful for the fringe though. Too short don't you think? Going back to bangs after soooo many years. Always wanted to dye my hair disco metallic bright orange-y red. Love this colour!! My mommy persuaded me to dye red instead of blue so YAY!!! :D

Love it!!! Don't ya??

2011-02-11T14:20:00.000+08:00

Tonight is THE night!!

Last night was spent rehearsing at Pit Building till 10pm, returned school to collect our belongings and went home. Reached home at about 1am, had to take the midnight cab. Woke up today at 5am to get ready for morning class, went for law lecture, had lunch and now waiting for time to pass. 2pm now, half an hour more before we have to gather to put on make up and style our hair for tonight's showdown!!

It's been 5 long months since we've come together. Throughout these few months, about a fifth of us has dropped out due to our late night and frequent practices. We initially had 120 people or thereabout, but now we're left with around 96 or so. It was disappointing of course, and in the beginning I wanted to drop out too because I felt that our chances of winning were too low and I didn't want to invest my time in something with no rewards. Our morale was low and everybody didn't know everybody back then.

But soon, things picked up. We learnt the entire dance, we made friends, we went for lunch/dinner and bubbling together and our morale was high. I am glad my friend convinced me to try for another couple of weeks (: or else I'd be the loser sitting at home every day wishing I'd done something more exciting, more enriching with my precious life.

15 more mins to gathering time. A couple of Saturdays were spent having on-site rehearsals and today is the ACTUAL parade with guest-of-honours, with audience, with the media (and hopefully paparazzi). It feels so surreal, like time just zoomed by and 5 months passed.

SIM Incandescence's morale is now at an all time high and facebook is filled with lots of encouraging statuses and we're so pretty damn sure we're gonna do well. Tonight, Incandescence will bring home the champion, baby!!

S$15000 you're ours MUAHAHAHAHA!!!